Call-in Show Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't need you anymore. I've discovered talk radio!'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

How I met your mother

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

TV and cleaner

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"What would you like to watch again?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

My client vigorously denies your charges. He says he has great respect for what makes you special. He knows that you like Amy Winehouse, watching The Office, secondhand clothes. You're reading off my Facebook page. He knows you're on Facebook. You're both off my friends list.

Jerry Springer

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

Orca Winfrey interviews Meghan Mackerel.

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

The Great Larrynx

Alan Davies.

Rob Brydon.

'Tonight - music from cat, acrobatics from cow, comedy from me - we have a great show for you - don't run away!'

The Ox Factor

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

And that's why I'm still single!

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'