Call Connisseur Pillows

"You rang ?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'Hello front desk? There are a couple of little cooties on my pillow!'

"That's such a clever title: I love a good pun..."

"I can grant you any wish you desire except for making sure the ice cream machine always works at McDonald's."

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

At Astley's

Excess Baggage: For many of us, 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

"What do I have to do to get the bartender's attention? Set myself on fire?"

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

'I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week.'

'With or without private sandbox?'

'I don't remember writing that source code!'

the food is nothing but the service

"Hello, you’ve reached tack support."

"Have you thought about retirement - with me?"

'How can you make so many mistakes when there's only 2 option...LEFT or RIGHT?'

The Sequels

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

"Sometimes I worry about my work-life balance."

A shout of sergeants