Call Blocker Pillows

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Today Guy came up with the funniest comic of all time. Unfortunately, Rodd suffered a rare attack of the debilitating 'Drawer's Block'.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'Are you gonna answer that?'

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Death can wait.

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'Stupid telebarketers.'

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" Jake and Billy make their last prank call.

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

Cold-calls.

Anyone here called bunny chops?

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'