Call Blocker Pillows

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Today Guy came up with the funniest comic of all time. Unfortunately, Rodd suffered a rare attack of the debilitating 'Drawer's Block'.

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'Are you gonna answer that?'

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

'Stupid telebarketers.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

Death can wait.

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

Anyone here called bunny chops?

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" Jake and Billy make their last prank call.

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

Cold-calls.

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'