Avoiding Phone Calls Pillows

"I hate calling her—she always picks up."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

Automated customer service.

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

Houdini 2019

"This ‘no BlackBerrys in the conference room’ rule is killing me."

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'My cellphone's driving me crazy, Doc! It's smarter than I am.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Death can wait.

Telephone Phobics Society

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'Not now, Harry. I'm on hold.'

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'You're still holding for Mr Stein? Press one for 'anger management'.'

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

'Hello, I would like to talk to somebody.'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" Jake and Billy make their last prank call.

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."

'I've finally gotten him to come when I call.'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'