Phone Call Procrastinator Pillows

Whoever told you you should wait three days before calling a number you got from a woman in a bar was mistaken. You should wait three years.

Death can wait.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

In and Out Box

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

I know hard work pays off in the long run, but goofing off has such immediate rewards!

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

"How about fashionably never?"

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys