Phone Call Hater Pillows

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

Automated customer service.

Confucius say: shut up.

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

Houdini 2019

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Collar I.D.

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"How many times do I have to tell, you, don't call me at work!"

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

Voice Jail

'I had a great day! I woke up 10 people, interrupted 28 breakfasts, 42 lunches and thoroughly ruined 21 dinners.'

STRIP Hambone: Cleaner answering the phone in office

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'

'Oh, Hi, Fred!...I was just thinking about you'

'Who is this? Could you please stop cold calling me?'

Snobscene phone call

"No, you're not disturbing me, Herb. I'm up with the chickens this morning."

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!