California Gifts

Redundant Beach, California

Entering Kah-lee-forn-yah.

'It's okay up here, I guess -- I'm originally from California.'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

Warning - Earthquake coming!

Entering California, Weather Permitting.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Meet The Author"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Edgar Allen Poe

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Thomas Mann.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the author"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Victor Hugo