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"Lately, the demands of our cat have begun to spiral wildly out of control."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

When Cells Divide

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Information booth attendant solves equation

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

How to create a brilliant cartoon

"This was Professor Brunzberg's office. He spent half his life trying to solve this equation and the other half he has spent wondering who actually cares about this crap."

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Musical Prodigy

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner