Calendar Challenger Pillows

"How am I supposed to remember what day it is when it changes every day?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

Mental Health System Breakdown

"I must have completely lost track of time."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

Capitalism

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

A midwinter potluck! How lovely!! Let me check the calendar! Oh, too bad! Thwack! We already have something on that date!

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Follow up appointment... the doctor will be retired by then."

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

Fred N. Smith: Bureaucrat, Public Servant, Whistle-Blower.

Easter Bunny HQ. United States. If all these states can move up their primaries, why can't I move Easter ahead of Valentine's Day?!

Selling Justice

New claims that GPs health damaged by government bureaucracy.

"My digital planner exploding may be a sign I'm way too busy."

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."

Suicide Is a Rude Way to Interfere With Society Murdering You

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"The good news is your husband is covered by insurance....The bad news is he suffered a mental breakdown from the registration process."

'Time management begins with the assumption that time will move slow enough to be managed.'

"Here's your problem."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

'This is Hugh from PrivateMeds Inc. he's looking around the hospital...'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

How to talk to a mathematically untalented boss.

'Can't you find another date? The evening of the 24th of December is pretty much the only night I'm not free...'

'I don't understand. Is our performance going up or down?'