Cafe Server T-Shirts

With my brains and your rice pudding we could corner the glue market!

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Do you have any catsup?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Today's special... donuts.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Hats and Food

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Non-Power Breakfast

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Coffee

The American Tearoom, Moscow

How About Serving Us For a Change