Cafe Adventurer Gifts

"Damn To-Go punks!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Salt and pepper spray- this is a tough joint!'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Countervailing Clichés.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Coffee

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"A table in Siberia, please."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Your bill sir.'

Roadkill Restaurant

Cafe Momus from La Boheme