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Ostrich TV.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Tree house.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"He's an indoor cat."

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

Couch and Potato

Classic News.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."