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I wish somebody had told me "Prince Charming" is an ironic nickname his fraternity gave him!

The Amiable Reaper.

They had to stop the assembly line at the bandage factory today because of imperfections. Flaws cause gauze pause!

Randy;s Man-Lesson: "What you don't know, can't hurt you!"

'We can expect some showers in the west, sunny conditions in the south and a frog warning up north...!'

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"We do have channel blocker, but my kid won't show me how to use it."

God Bless Our Reverse Mortgage.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Einsteiners.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Tree house.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Fishermen

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The couch hates me Jane!"

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Binge Watch

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'