Cable Tv Employee Pillows

"Sure all the stations we make you buy are expensive, but the commercials are free!"

Local News in Heaven

Moulin Rouge Security

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

"Ahem."

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'Sorry, it's packed with t.v crews doing links.' ( LONDON EYE )

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

Used to work in the subtitles business but got laid off...

"Okay, I want rubbish, you want garbage, so let's settle for trash."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'Busy day?'

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

'It's for you!'

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

Digital Tuna.

Broom Operators Deserve Better

This HDTV is fantastic - I swear I really can smell that skunk!

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

'You called about digital cable?'