Cable Tv Junkie Pillows

"My new cable tv package has 800 channels. . . all of them featuring people screaming about politics."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

America's funniest investment scams

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Woke Jersey Shore

Wall mountable TVs.

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"'60 Minutes' is on."