Buzzword Survivor Gifts

"It's not enough I have to think outside the box. Now I have to think outside the bubble!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Final words on gravestones.

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'It has everything... I love it!'

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

More of what people often say (and what they really mean)