Buzzing With Humor Gifts

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

'You lifted your head.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Hardy Annuals

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

"You know very well what fish!"

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

'He did it for us.'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

Menace.

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

'I don't trust that guy.'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'We operate on the point system here. When you see something go wrong, point at whoever you think is to blame.'

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"Working late, my foot! You reek of pollen!"

All of a bee keeper's Christmas Tree ornaments are big round bees.

'They're looking for the bottom line.'

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

"The Choice is yours, Norman - either we divorce or I have you recycled."

"I drink coffee for your safety."

The Cliff Whites of Dover

Happy Valentine's Day! My friend is looking for a valentine's day date. She asked me to build her ideal man. She wants him to be tall and smart so I made him with long legs and a big brain. He has great ears so he's a good listener, and an extra funny bone so he has a wonderful sense of humor. Most important, I was very careful when working on his chest. Her ideal man must have his heart in the right place. Will you be my valentine?