Buying A Rural Property Mugs

'Maybe we could liven things up by getting a hub airport.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Allotment

Country Bumpkin.

'How very Cumbria.'

'It's 'baa baa' here and 'baa baa' there, until I'm just about nuts.'

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"They’re real."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Thatched roof car.

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

Farmers' Warnings.

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Milkin' Impossible

"We should get out to the country more often."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Holiday cottage

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

An English Gold Field

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.