Buying A Historic Property T-Shirts

'Double glazing? Hmm, I'd love to say yes but... this is a magnificent 16th century stately home. We're not allowed to change anything. Besides, your boys would never get their ladders over the moat... hello?'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

Planner at work.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

House Hunters of the Old West

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

Piggy bank #4: factory.

"I've always had this dream of buying a little farm and then selling it off piece by piece."

'Maybe we could liven things up by getting a hub airport.'

Antique Show Piggy

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

Urban relocation

'Developer' shocked by price of 'Retrofitting needs' on old building

"It's a great old building, but I wish we had a more up-to-date security system."

Antiques. Special on Low-Def.

Brookfield Historical Society LandmarkThe Captain Benjamin Ingham HouseBuilt in 1768 for $550 and 2 Tons of CodfishPresent Worth $3.5 Million, But Could Easily Bring $5 Million.

"I've sold my airspace."

"Lots of what?"

'Get back inside this jewel encrusted ancient bottle now...it'll be worth more on the Antiques Roadshow.'

I already own waterfront property.

"I did 'stop and smell the flowers' once. Then I bought them, cut them down, and put up condos."

Indian burial ground.