Business World Gifts

"I know it's only a part-time, unpaid, work-experience job but if you work hard it could become a full-time unpaid work-experience job."

This year, I will become a better person. That's a low bar. I just can't sit by and watch corporate America outsource jobs. Are you serious? Big businesses are cutting pension funds and health care benefits. They're contributing to the greatest income gap between laborers and management that we've seen since the depression. This year, I vow to do a better job. Of? Joining corporate America in crushing the little guy. I just pray I have the strength to see this through. I vow to wilt like a lily.

'My rate's two hundred an hour; sure why not?'

'There's a sight you don't often see in the middle of the city on a business day - a kid.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."