Business Reviews Gifts

"I'm super excited about this fabulous opportunity to improve!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Can't Touch This

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

Performance reviews in Hell.

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

'Yes, I am positive we'll make a loss this quarter.'

The COMPANY is always right.

"Budget Cuts."

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Jeff hated performance reviews.

Anyone else think the movie was better? Book club bouncer.

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

"We need to start listening to our customers."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

'Great shareholder report, sir! I admire the way you avoided any hint of substance.'

'For a C.E.O., he's very hands-on.'

"Based on the economy and your rate of savings, I've updated your retirement projections."