Business Norms Challenger T-Shirts

I'm having fun, all in all. But there is one question which I attempted to answer and no matter what, I fail: Why do candy stores have business hours?

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

The Mainstream

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Fight on the top

A man without a chicken on his head!

Victorian woman at a bar.

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

What If?

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Little Suzy Home maker'

"This isn't the most progressive place so try to sip your coffee in a manly way."

'Mother! Would you stop referring to Charles as a latchkey husband!'

"I woke up in a tattoo parlor in Tijuana. You can imagine my surprise."

"Shall I be mother?"

The Dance Circa 1970

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

"Yes, they do make you look taller."

'She's the main bread winner, she's on nine loaves a week.'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'