Business Mingler Gifts

'I gained many useful leads, renewed relationships with various potential customers and established a number of contacts...'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"We'd better talk some business, or else I can't claim this on expenses."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Office temperature.

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Ssssh. . . it's time for his verbal warning."

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"First of all, this conversation never happened."