Business Metaphor Lover Gifts

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"We have an acronym!"

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'I think it is our duty to fully-experience the excess profits.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Office temperature.

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

I like you and I like your company!

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."