Business Meeting Merrymakers Gifts

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Bo're'droom

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'