Business Laughter Seeker Gifts

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

Gay Times...

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"As you can see, we have a very flexible work-from-home-at-the-office policy."

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'Just one question: is it billable?'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'Sorry I'm late!'

'The Angina Monologues'

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm the one with his head in a pelvic vice!'

"When I said I wanted him for the firm 'dead or alive' the emphasis was on 'alive'."

'After reviewing your job performance...'

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

"I deal with the physical security while Junior is our cyber specialist..."

'The buck stops here except for felonies.'

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

"I may seem like a dour sort, Mr. Penfeather, but, I assure you, I can smile with the best of them when the occasion demands."

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'