Business Jargonaut Gifts

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Call Your Office

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"When you reach the bottom of the pile, you'll find this week's paycheck."

Multitasking executive dog

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

Business-Class.