Business Jargon Interpreter Pillows

"You have to return it. 'Winner takes all' is just an expression."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

Terms and conditions on the mount

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

GDP and G&T.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

'The new role will involve some EXTRA responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...It's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

More of what people often say (and what they really mean)

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

Digital Marketing

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

"Yes, but...will it scale?"

"There'd be a lot less hemming and hawing if you did a better job of flimming and flamming."

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."