Business Insights Gifts

'I don't remember your name but your salary is familiar.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"Some good predictive analytics software would have really helped us avoid this mess..."

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

'These are our projected profits as capitalism self-destructs.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

'Do you want to talk to the man in charge or the woman that knows what's going on?'

'The music business.'

'I told you not to take a left out of the office - now we're completely lost!'

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

'Excellent photo for the cover of our annual report, Richards. Tell me; which do we make, the cell phone or the umbrella?'

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'