Business Fail Fan Gifts

"Mr. Saltee"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"How's that pub landlord thing working out?"

'Willowby, you have great leadership potential. That's why I'm getting rid of you now.'

Change of Management - Fortunes Told

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

'My error, sir. On the phone I thought you said 'venture' capitalist.'

'I guess you lost me, Hank, at the point where we jump to light speed, travel back in time and undo the stupid merger that's causing all of our current problems!'

"It's a generational thing, … You're not generating any revenue."

Sign Shop

'Go to the bank and see if it's still there'

'What's the secret of my success? I almost always act slowly on my bad ideas.'

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

-"My new business is a total flop!" -"Remember what I told you..Do research!"

Greece & EU

'Can we lose our shirts and get away with calling it a wardrobe malfunction?'

'I have repented my new economy ways, will work for money'.

"Dot com, dot go, now I got - no dough."

Applesauce, pea soup, candied yams.

I make the plans, then it's your job to see they get carried out

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

"The old man wants to see you in his office now."

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'