Business Etiquette Enthusiast Gifts

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

'Should have shook hands...' - 'Should have bowed...' - 'Should have read the keynote...'

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Let's shake on it.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

Conference Rooms - Cell phones being handed in.

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"Can I help you?"

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

"Yes, we eliminated the dress code, but I see you didn't fully understand."

'I'm afraid Mr. Tibbles can't be disturbed right now.'

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"I called this meeting to discuss the appropriate work attire."

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."