Business Etiquette Fans Gifts

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Let's shake on it.

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

Conference Rooms - Cell phones being handed in.

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'I hate long meetings so in order to save time can we agree to talk at once?'

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'While they always come back as unfounded, maybe you could prevent these allegations of sexual harassment by not telling people you like the cut of their jib.'

'When I pled 'Not Guilty,' I forgot to say 'May I?''

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

"Not at the table."

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"Can I help you?"

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

'EEEEEHA!!' 'WHISKEY!' 'What's the magic word?'

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Yes, we eliminated the dress code, but I see you didn't fully understand."