Business Ethics Explorer Gifts

"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Dr. Baratti is our company psychologist. I brought him along to tell you that you're crazy if you go and work for our competitors for twice the salary.'

Mort, let me ask you a hypothetical question. Ok. Suppose a businessman – oh, let's say, a cafe owner – were to discover his electric bill was too high … Yes? … and then he discovered, almost simultaneously, that a third of his elderly clientele wore pacemakers. Now, given all this … do you think his elderly patrons might react negatively … if the businessman strapped them to his generator and siphoned some of their battery power? Hypothetically speaking, of course. You're an evil, evil man!!!

"You call that dirty?"

"The secret of our success? Hard work, cutting edge research and bookkeeping issues!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Water company bonus.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

First, do no harm. - Physician's oath. First, do no harm to each other. - Patient's oath. That second one is going to be tricky someday, Hippocrates.

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Sir, your greed is showing."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'