Business Ethics Gifts

'It's a thin dividing line,Johnson. Let's just ignore it.'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

"...and so the little corporate raider grew to understand that "unethical" was not the same as "illegal", and he lived happily ever after. The End."

'You do as you're told, we pay as we please...That, in a nutshell, is our corporate culture.'

'I'd like you to check my core values.'

"I gotta tell ya, these embezzlement convictions raise a red flag."

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"It's simple, really. Just figure out what the honorable thing to do is – and make it look like we did it."

'Our core values statement is now official.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'If we can't cure cancer, our hope is to turn it into a long-term profitbale disease.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'When I was hired, the boss asked if I could handle a job with lots of accountability, and like an idiot, I said 'Yes!''

'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

Company Legal Dept - "Do you think they'd take a bribe to drop the corruption charges?"

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

'Let the minutes show that Fenwick brought up the subject of corporate ethics.'

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'Whenever I get discouraged, I just say to myself 'Sure, my company exploits indigenous people around the world, plunders natural resources and leaves desolation in its wake, but, by golly, that's not what defines me as a person!...''

'It's not a question of right or wrong, gentlemen! It's a question of, can we get away with it?'

"Gentleman, we have a dilemma. Pollution scientists say it'll destroy the ozone - however, Market Research predict it'll sell like hot cakes."

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

"You regulators are never satisfied. You wanted more transparency, so we put more windows in the building."

'It's not an electrical problem. Something's wrong with your corporate DNA!'

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"Not only do we have to be environmentally responsible, but socially too?"

Investments: 'We now offer 'social conscience' funds and 'corporate ethics' funds'.

'Doctor, you're on the edge of violating your non-compete.'

'I want you to remove all references to bribery from out mission statement.'

"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."

"Now, this over here, this is why you're going to have to go to jail."

Destitute businessman: 'Played by the rules.'