Business Dinner Antics Pillows

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it a chopstick dipped in soya sauce."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I hate performance review season."

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Office meeting

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."