Hosting A Dinner For The Boss Pillows

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

"Gesundheit!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"A little lamb please."

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

Chefs-R-Us

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'