Hosting A Dinner For The Boss Pillows

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Chefs-R-Us

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"My bouche was not amused."

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'