Business Cycle Observer Gifts

Office conversation

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

St. Elmo's fired.

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

Bribes.

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

Good solution. Now we need a good problem.

'They're always going on and on about 'carrying management' so this seemed like a natural...'

"Thank God your mother didn't live to see what you've become."

"Trump's election has certainly thrown the cat amongst the pigeons... The only way we'll get through it is to embrace this new world, develop our business strategy around it! So the plan is to build a betterer business, a beautiful business... One where i

"Before you ask for a raise, I need you to be aware I've got a map of your brain on my mobile."

North Korea

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

"Well you're obviously very good at your job so why don't we promote you to something you know nothing about!"

"Nigel - set up a New York Office and have them ring me back immediately.."

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

'No, the strike isn't over - they're burning the company flag.'

'All those in favor of standing and giving me a slow clap...'

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'Everyone is Economizing.'

"Of course I'm no expert. But I still think it's: 'Sniff butt, bury bone. Sniff butt, bury bone...'"

Currently Down-Sizing

"Fake."

'Can't give you a raise. How about a fancy new title?'

"Your Christmas bonus was that I didn't fire you!"