Business Analyst Buff Gifts

'Our acquisitions department accidentally took over a third world country.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'