Bush Beats Enthusiast Pillows

Birds with Headphones

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

Magician Playing Golf.

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

Four Score and seven years ago...

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

James K Polk

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'He confessed to reading George Bush's memoirs.'

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

'I don't really have a personal best. I'm just sort of OK all the time.'

John F. Kennedy

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"We did our best to convince them, now it's up to how gullible they are."

". . .and so the Defense rests, based on those facts, to the best of my manipulation."

'Sir, you have a couple of salesmen laying for you out here.'

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

"And this is my great-uncle Harold...he was a famous escape artist!"

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

Calvin Coolidge

"Do you need me to write in big letters for you?"

Gloria called

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"You are late! The rabbit left half an hour ago!"

Groundhog Making Shadow Figures.

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

Yeah, I'm a songbird, but I'd rather be known as a singer/songwriter.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it's met its match.

"Perfect!"

'To begin with, my son, everything is illusory... Hey! --you gave me counterfeit money!'