Smocking Admirer Pillows

'Can't you read? It says 'no smocking'!'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Magic Tricks

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

No Right Turn (monster)

Magician Playing Golf.

Grim's Fairytales

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

Paul Daniels.

Museum of Mediocre Art.

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

Ventriloquist's Doll also has a Doll.

"Why do you always wear pants?"

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

'Hurry, Andrea, here comes the hunk mail!'

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

'That's what I call magical magic!'

"It's a human hand!"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.

Joke Shop and Novelties