Burglary Investigator Gifts

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

Bureau of Missing Persons

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

"The final phase of your background check... the bumper stickers on the back of your car."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

Retrospection.

The Line-up

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

Richard gets the third degree.