Bureaucratic Warrior Gifts

"NOTHING has changed from your last visit here? What do you people do?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"Useless information"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

The Buck Never Stops.

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"From this you make a living?"

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

Max Weber

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'