Bunker Dwellers Mugs

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Upper West Side Story

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Tortured Plank

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Thank you."

Skimming out star reflections

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

"Scat!"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

An ellipsis in the sky

Old Yarns

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

Auld Gang Sign

"...A meaningful epiphany or just a line from some dumb TV commercial?"

A Bubble of Countryside.