Bungalow Owner Jokes Pillows

No, young man, I'm not worried about falling downstairs.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Pest Control

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

A cock up of builders

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Beware of the Lawn

Mouse real estate!

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

The Climate Change Debate Explained

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

William and Real Estate

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

Urban Gardens

The lessor of two evils.

Affordable housing

Junk Mail Shredder.

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

Fire Alarm

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

'A thief stole your key? Rats, I'll have to change the lock and reissue keys to the thousands of tenants...'

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'