Bundled-up Stylist Gifts

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Scarf puts hat back on.

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Thank you for purchasing the first modular dressing kid for guys

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Festive squad

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Wow - My kind of man.'

Frigid Cold

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

"Dad, you don't understand...I can't get my hair cut just anywhere! This is for school pictures! My hair needs to be perfect!"

“Dear, I don’t mind if you pick out my shirt. You gotta look at me, I don’t.”

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

'You want the long, skinny rug in the hallway or a scarf?! What on earth are you talking about?'

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

A short legged lady bug is among long legged ones.

'I could run some tests, but in my professional opinion you've got Salt Lake City on your mind.'

Dueling Glue Guns: Glue unto Others as you would have them glue unto you.

'So I guess your mom was cold this morning.'

'I think you'd look pretty good in a bun.'

Man with curly moustache and eyebrows.

"Aren't you worried that I may be a serial killer..?"

"Oh, Harold! This is too nice!"

"Notice anything different about me?"

The Urban Utility Belt