Bundle Of Laughs Pillows

"I just don't understand it...One day, during half time, she just stuck a note to my six pack and left."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Family Butcher.

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Right, now learn this trick...'

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'Thank God we're cute. You only get one chance to make a good first impression.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"It's weeder's elbow."

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

The Terror Of Folkenstein

"I need a Smartphone, Dad?"

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

'No, we do not make change.'

"No. I have the baby."

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

'In these troubled times, I thank God there's still one barrel left we can afford.'

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

Golf cheerleaders.

Customs and Examinations.

Caution Slippery When Wet.

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

"This says the median age for Hispanics in the United States is 27...the median age for all the other groups is much higher."

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).