Bulletproof Fashionista Gifts

Woman police officer in body armour with breasts

Mikado

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"Wow, you look sexy today."

Australian punk

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"A duck call won't grab the attention of a modern duck. You need to draw them in with Snapchat."

"Houston we have a problem...Andy's mom knitted his space suit."

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

Fashionista

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

"Who do we know who wears lilac corduroys?"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

Holier Than Thou

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'I'm gonna have to change my hair. My parents love it.'

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"I was innocent but the jury thought I looked really guilty."

Motor Cycle Service - Biker having more studs added to jacket

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

'Her clothes are so way out, she won first prize at a fancy dress competition, and she wasn't wearing fancy dress.'

Cowgirl applying bullet shaped lipstick.

GoodWitchBadWitch.com, online clothes catalogue for moody people. What do you think?

"I made a video of your water baptism..."

'I don't want to wear that, Mom!'

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'