Bulldozer Enthusiast Gifts

Bulldozer reshapes hill that produces echoes.

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

Safe harbour

Betsy. Why you call you bulldozer "Faith"? Because she'll move mountains!

How You Know It's Spring...

A Cactus giving a Bulldozer driver a rude gesture as it is being knocked down for development

"I will now play a familiar seasonal piece."

'Could you guys do your bungee jumping somewhere else?'

Leaf Blower.

"Rocky lost his job to a self-driving bulldozer."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

'Norman just loves that leaf blower I bought him for Christmas.'

The fumble bee

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

Good job we were still plugged in!

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

"No, son, not a nuclear war. That's just the fact checker's heads exploding after Trump's State of the Union speech."

"O.K., doomer."

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

"I've made more than 4000 bungy jumps without any physical damage to my body!"

Best Snowblower Ever.

Spring road works/construction .

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

A gardener blowing autumn leaves off a tree - into a neighbour's garden.

Poison Dart Training Camp.

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'

Can you describe it?

"The work of a lifetime, made of booger."

'I don't think there IS such a thing as low-fat whales.'