Building Inspector Humorist Gifts

What makes you think this room wasn't wired properly?

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Beware of Everything

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

How to Build a Bungalow

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

Under New Mismanagement

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

"Efficiency tombs available"

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."