Building A Family T-Shirts

As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Like death by salad.'

The No No No's

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

Grounded

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

The Tunnel Of Love

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

"I think this is the perfect place to grow a family."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Someday, Mr. Nicky Copernicus, SOMEDAY you'll learn that the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

Mythical Family of Four.

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."